With the Minnesota fishing opener right around the corner and set to begin on May 9, 2026, Visit Ely, MN decided to examine the goings-on of our fish neighbors and get the scoop on what is really going on in our local waters.
Visitors to Ely’s lakes often make the mistake of assuming the fish are simply swimming around passively. This is inaccurate and, according to several unverified but passionate underwater sources, mildly offensive.
While much remains unknown about lake society, local rumors suggest a complex interspecies culture governed by ritual, etiquette, territorial politics, and a deeply layered system of grudges.
For example, direct eye contact with walleye is widely believed to be a serious breach of decorum. Some observers claim the species interprets prolonged staring as a challenge, an insult, or an attempt at dominance.
Bass culture, by contrast, appears to place a high value on ceremony and symbolic exchange. Small offerings, particularly cracker crumbs, are understood in some circles as gestures of respect. Though not all bass accept tribute, as some are too sassy, those who do are said to remember it.
Crayfish, meanwhile, continue to express frustration over what they describe as a longstanding failure of acknowledgment. Despite their role as laborers, sanitation workers, entertainers, and occasional architectural consultants within lake society, they remain under-credited in most public discussions of aquatic life (a formal complaint has been filed).
Muskies, typically reclusive, emerged to set the record straight that they did not steal the northern pike’s favorite spot near the “good” waterweeds. Northern pike have declined to comment.
Some reports also suggest that perch are huge gossips, while sunfish are responsible for the majority of drama in shallow water communities. Leeches kept inviting our local reporters to parties.
As the fishing opener approaches, visitors are encouraged to respect local customs, avoid making assumptions, and remember there might be a perch in the water quietly judging you. The fish have no further comment ahead of May 9 for legal reasons.